Dear Vinny,
On Saturday, we went to a holiday party at the next-door neighbor's. You were a popular guy and lots of people wanted to hold you. For a long time, a neighbor down the street, Shigiro, held you and you two watched TV in the other room. You knew her from Halloween and from when Mommy and Daddy voted, because she was one of the poll workers and she watched you while we voted.
But it was that night that we noticed you were a little crankier than usual. By morning you were all stopped up and had a cough: it was your first cold. Continuing the holiday tradition of children everywhere, you were sick on Christmas. We had been invited to go over to Joe and Katie's for Christmas dinner (that's the son-in-law and daughter of the next-door neighbor) but we had to decline because you weren't feeling good.
On Christmas morning we opened our presents. You helped Mommy and Daddy open your presents. We would start to tear the wrapping paper, and then we helped you get a handhold on it and you would rip it some more. I think you will enjoy your presents more next year. You made out like a bandit. Daddy and Mommy bought you a bunch of toys, but Granny and Granddad also gave you toys as well as some cute clothes.
The day after Christmas, I took you to the doctor. As it turns out, you also had an ear infection, so you are now on amoxicillin, which they are able to put in a thick, berry-flavored liquid that you seem to think tastes pretty good. Daddy has been doing a consistently good job of spraying your nose with saline spray and sucking out your boogers, which you totally hate. But it makes it easier for you to breathe. I've also been taking advantage of the fact that you cough before you cry in order to make you clear your breathing passages. Sometimes while you're eating it sounds like you're having a hard time breathing so I take away your bottle, which makes you upset. The first thing you do before crying is you cough, so I just wait until you clear out your throat and then I give you the bottle again. It's a dirty trick, but it seems to work.
Later in the afternoon your grandma and grandpa arrived, en route to Florida. They were happy to see you, even though you were still under the weather. But you were cheered up by their charms. Your grandma spent some time cooing with you, and she really enjoyed it. Grandma and Grandpa also brought a bunch of presents, most of which were for you. Even some of the presents for Mommy and Daddy were actually for you!
They were reluctant to leave in the morning, but they knew that they'd get to see you again on their way back from Florida. They will be back tomorrow evening. I'm sure they can't wait to see you again!
Love,
Mommy
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Monday, December 18, 2006
Visitors and Parties
Dear Vinny,
On Thursday night, Granny and Granddad came down for Uncle Wayne's heart surgery. They were really happy to see you and remarked about how much you had grown. They also brought with them a carload of presents, the vast majority of them for you.
After Granny and Granddad left on Saturday, we went over to Sho's house for his birthday. You slept for much of the time, but you were a big hit with Sho's parents. They really like babies but haven't had one in the house for a long time.
Then last night we went to my department's holiday party. My colleague Rick's wife Sarah really doted on you and enjoyed holding you. There was another baby there, who was 4 months old, but you were half his age and twice his size!
Then today we were special guests at the birthing class that Mommy and Daddy went to before you were born. We were there to tell the story of your birth and reassure people that they will make it through the ordeal. You were so cute that you stole the show. That's something I've gotten used to since you've been around. You are way cuter than Mommy or Daddy could ever hope to be!
Love,
Mommy
On Thursday night, Granny and Granddad came down for Uncle Wayne's heart surgery. They were really happy to see you and remarked about how much you had grown. They also brought with them a carload of presents, the vast majority of them for you.
After Granny and Granddad left on Saturday, we went over to Sho's house for his birthday. You slept for much of the time, but you were a big hit with Sho's parents. They really like babies but haven't had one in the house for a long time.
Then last night we went to my department's holiday party. My colleague Rick's wife Sarah really doted on you and enjoyed holding you. There was another baby there, who was 4 months old, but you were half his age and twice his size!
Then today we were special guests at the birthing class that Mommy and Daddy went to before you were born. We were there to tell the story of your birth and reassure people that they will make it through the ordeal. You were so cute that you stole the show. That's something I've gotten used to since you've been around. You are way cuter than Mommy or Daddy could ever hope to be!
Love,
Mommy
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Two Months
Dear Vinny,
Tuesday was your two-month birthday. It is hard to believe that a mere two months ago, you were born. You have changed a lot since then. For one, you are more responsive to us. If we tickle your mouth, you smile. It is enough to melt my heart when you grin so wide and stick your tongue out.
Today we took you to the doctor for your two-month appointment. You have grown a lot in a month. You weighed in at 13 lbs 2 oz, and 24-1/4" long. That puts you in the 90th percentile for both height and weight. Unfortunately, you also had to have some vaccinations today: one oral vaccine, and four shots. You were very unhappy with the shots, and rightly so, because I'm sure they hurt like the dickens. They gave you two in each thigh. Daddy held your hands while the nurse braced your legs against the table with her body. You cried a lot and I'm sorry it had to hurt like that, but really, getting those shots is much less painful than getting the diseases they protect against. You'll have to go back in February for some more shots.
Words cannot express how much I love you and how proud I am to be your mommy. I really enjoy holding you. Every night I take you up to bed and hold you on my chest until you fall asleep. Then I place you to my side but continue to cradle you in my arms. You sleep peacefully, up to five and sometimes six hours that way. I am glad that I can help you to sleep so peacefully.
Love,
Mommy
Tuesday was your two-month birthday. It is hard to believe that a mere two months ago, you were born. You have changed a lot since then. For one, you are more responsive to us. If we tickle your mouth, you smile. It is enough to melt my heart when you grin so wide and stick your tongue out.
Today we took you to the doctor for your two-month appointment. You have grown a lot in a month. You weighed in at 13 lbs 2 oz, and 24-1/4" long. That puts you in the 90th percentile for both height and weight. Unfortunately, you also had to have some vaccinations today: one oral vaccine, and four shots. You were very unhappy with the shots, and rightly so, because I'm sure they hurt like the dickens. They gave you two in each thigh. Daddy held your hands while the nurse braced your legs against the table with her body. You cried a lot and I'm sorry it had to hurt like that, but really, getting those shots is much less painful than getting the diseases they protect against. You'll have to go back in February for some more shots.
Words cannot express how much I love you and how proud I am to be your mommy. I really enjoy holding you. Every night I take you up to bed and hold you on my chest until you fall asleep. Then I place you to my side but continue to cradle you in my arms. You sleep peacefully, up to five and sometimes six hours that way. I am glad that I can help you to sleep so peacefully.
Love,
Mommy
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Mommy's first day of work
Dear Vinny,
Today was my first day back at work. Actually, I was trying to ease back into it so I did only a half day. I missed you a lot. The people at work were happy to see me, and curious about how you were doing. As I told them, you are doing great. You have just recently started to smile at me and Daddy. At first we really had to coax it out of you, but now it comes easily when you are sufficiently alert and cheerful. And when that smile comes across your face it is like a beam of sunshine, straight to the heart. When I miss you at work I just picture your smiling face and it makes me feel better.
Love,
Mommy
Today was my first day back at work. Actually, I was trying to ease back into it so I did only a half day. I missed you a lot. The people at work were happy to see me, and curious about how you were doing. As I told them, you are doing great. You have just recently started to smile at me and Daddy. At first we really had to coax it out of you, but now it comes easily when you are sufficiently alert and cheerful. And when that smile comes across your face it is like a beam of sunshine, straight to the heart. When I miss you at work I just picture your smiling face and it makes me feel better.
Love,
Mommy
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Thanksgiving
Dear Vinny,
We shared Thanksgiving dinner with the neighbor and her family. She invited us over for dinner at the beginning of the month too, but I don't think you remember that because you slept pretty much the whole time! Anyhow, we were once again at the table with Ann, her daughter Katie and son-in-law Joe, and their kids Bert and Amelia, and joined for the first time by Ann's son Quentin. The dinner was delicious and a good time was had by all. This time Daddy and I had to eat in shifts because you were awake and fussy if we put you down.
Amelia is just a couple of months older than you. Right now that is a big difference (developmentally speaking) but I think as time goes on you may become friends and playmates.
It is good to have such nice neighbors and I hope that we continue to see them.
Love,
Mommy
We shared Thanksgiving dinner with the neighbor and her family. She invited us over for dinner at the beginning of the month too, but I don't think you remember that because you slept pretty much the whole time! Anyhow, we were once again at the table with Ann, her daughter Katie and son-in-law Joe, and their kids Bert and Amelia, and joined for the first time by Ann's son Quentin. The dinner was delicious and a good time was had by all. This time Daddy and I had to eat in shifts because you were awake and fussy if we put you down.
Amelia is just a couple of months older than you. Right now that is a big difference (developmentally speaking) but I think as time goes on you may become friends and playmates.
It is good to have such nice neighbors and I hope that we continue to see them.
Love,
Mommy
Monday, November 20, 2006
Meeting more family
Dear Vinny,
This past weekend, we traveled to Kentucky. It was our first major trip away from home with you. We stayed with Grandma and Grandpa and you got to meet even more family.
The purpose of the visit was to give your 98-year-old great-grandmother (my mother's mother) a chance to meet you. But while we were at it, Grandpa brought his mother over from Evansville, Indiana, so you got to meet your other great-grandma too.
On Saturday morning we took you over to great-grandma's place at the retirement home. I always knew that she liked babies, but seeing you really brightened up her day. She gasped at the sight of you and was overwhelmed by your cuteness. Although she has trouble with her short-term memory, she remembered you for days afterwards.
Great-grandma Mary found you to be adorable too. I don't see how anyone couldn't. You are a handsome young lad, and you don't mind meeting new people. Your grandma couldn't get enough of you, either. She literally snatched you from my arms on more than one occasion. I didn't mind, though, because I am always happy to see how much all these people love you!
On Saturday evening, your great-Aunt Rosemary arrived from New York, on her way to Evansville for Thanksgiving. She was also excited to meet you. She held you and even fed you once (Grandma let her have that opportunity.)!
Then on Sunday, we went over to comfy Aunt Rhonda's house, where you got a chance to see Granny and Granddad again, and also to meet your cousins Stuart and Ian, and your Uncle John, and your Aunt Ginger and Uncle Johnny. I don't know what it is about grandmothers, but once Granny got ahold of you, she didn't want to let go. But she gave Aunt Ginger a chance to hold you and feed you and get to know you. While we were there, we dressed you in this Santa outfit that Granny and Granddad had bought for you, because they wanted a picture of you in it. You were okay with the outfit until we put the hat on you. I don't know what it is about hats but you hate them with a passion. But we managed to get a nice picture of you with Granddad.
Vinny, you are a lucky boy indeed to have so many relatives who love you so much! The only close relatives you have yet to meet are your Uncle Scott, your cousin Byron, and Aunt Laura's girlfriend Anne. But I am confident that you will be a big hit with them, too.
Love,
Mommy
This past weekend, we traveled to Kentucky. It was our first major trip away from home with you. We stayed with Grandma and Grandpa and you got to meet even more family.
The purpose of the visit was to give your 98-year-old great-grandmother (my mother's mother) a chance to meet you. But while we were at it, Grandpa brought his mother over from Evansville, Indiana, so you got to meet your other great-grandma too.
On Saturday morning we took you over to great-grandma's place at the retirement home. I always knew that she liked babies, but seeing you really brightened up her day. She gasped at the sight of you and was overwhelmed by your cuteness. Although she has trouble with her short-term memory, she remembered you for days afterwards.
Great-grandma Mary found you to be adorable too. I don't see how anyone couldn't. You are a handsome young lad, and you don't mind meeting new people. Your grandma couldn't get enough of you, either. She literally snatched you from my arms on more than one occasion. I didn't mind, though, because I am always happy to see how much all these people love you!
On Saturday evening, your great-Aunt Rosemary arrived from New York, on her way to Evansville for Thanksgiving. She was also excited to meet you. She held you and even fed you once (Grandma let her have that opportunity.)!
Then on Sunday, we went over to comfy Aunt Rhonda's house, where you got a chance to see Granny and Granddad again, and also to meet your cousins Stuart and Ian, and your Uncle John, and your Aunt Ginger and Uncle Johnny. I don't know what it is about grandmothers, but once Granny got ahold of you, she didn't want to let go. But she gave Aunt Ginger a chance to hold you and feed you and get to know you. While we were there, we dressed you in this Santa outfit that Granny and Granddad had bought for you, because they wanted a picture of you in it. You were okay with the outfit until we put the hat on you. I don't know what it is about hats but you hate them with a passion. But we managed to get a nice picture of you with Granddad.
Vinny, you are a lucky boy indeed to have so many relatives who love you so much! The only close relatives you have yet to meet are your Uncle Scott, your cousin Byron, and Aunt Laura's girlfriend Anne. But I am confident that you will be a big hit with them, too.
Love,
Mommy
Friday, November 10, 2006
One-month checkup
Dear Vinny,
On Tuesday you had your one-month checkup at the pediatrician. The good news is that you are now over ten pounds! We are very pleased with that. You continue to be about average on the growth charts, except for your head, which has grown more than the rest of your body. Because of that, they have to make sure that there's nothing wrong with your head, so we have an appointment for an ultrasound of your head on Tuesday. Personally, I just think you have a really big brain.
You also seem to have acid reflux, so we have started you on some medication for that. The problem is that it tastes really nasty, so we are trying to give it to you in the middle of a feeding so that you won't have to taste it so much. You still hate it, though. We squirt it into your mouth and it makes you frown and cry. I'm sorry that it tastes so nasty, but hopefully it is worth it. We should know in two weeks.
Yesterday, we went to another appointment with the speech-language pathologist regarding your ability to suck, swallow, and breathe at the same time. Your ability to suck is improving, although you still get tired after about 10-15 minutes of sucking. You are such a sweet baby that you charmed the SLP once again. I think she was sad to see us go.
Also yesterday, we noticed that you are starting to notice more details in our faces and expressions. Sometimes you imitate our facial expressions if we do them slowly and close enough to your face. Daddy stuck out his tongue at you, and you stuck yours out too. I tried it and it worked for me too.
You slept for over four hours straight on Wednesday night and last night too. You seem to really sleep well if I hold you in my arms in the bed. I don't mind doing it except that my arm is a little sore by morning. But if it allows us all to sleep a little longer, I think it is worth it.
This morning you were very hungry and cranky because we kept misreading your hunger cues as something else. But finally we fed you enough and you settled down. You're sleeping right now and you've been sleeping for nearly four hours. You will probably wake up and feel hungry again soon.
Love,
Mommy
On Tuesday you had your one-month checkup at the pediatrician. The good news is that you are now over ten pounds! We are very pleased with that. You continue to be about average on the growth charts, except for your head, which has grown more than the rest of your body. Because of that, they have to make sure that there's nothing wrong with your head, so we have an appointment for an ultrasound of your head on Tuesday. Personally, I just think you have a really big brain.
You also seem to have acid reflux, so we have started you on some medication for that. The problem is that it tastes really nasty, so we are trying to give it to you in the middle of a feeding so that you won't have to taste it so much. You still hate it, though. We squirt it into your mouth and it makes you frown and cry. I'm sorry that it tastes so nasty, but hopefully it is worth it. We should know in two weeks.
Yesterday, we went to another appointment with the speech-language pathologist regarding your ability to suck, swallow, and breathe at the same time. Your ability to suck is improving, although you still get tired after about 10-15 minutes of sucking. You are such a sweet baby that you charmed the SLP once again. I think she was sad to see us go.
Also yesterday, we noticed that you are starting to notice more details in our faces and expressions. Sometimes you imitate our facial expressions if we do them slowly and close enough to your face. Daddy stuck out his tongue at you, and you stuck yours out too. I tried it and it worked for me too.
You slept for over four hours straight on Wednesday night and last night too. You seem to really sleep well if I hold you in my arms in the bed. I don't mind doing it except that my arm is a little sore by morning. But if it allows us all to sleep a little longer, I think it is worth it.
This morning you were very hungry and cranky because we kept misreading your hunger cues as something else. But finally we fed you enough and you settled down. You're sleeping right now and you've been sleeping for nearly four hours. You will probably wake up and feel hungry again soon.
Love,
Mommy
Sunday, November 05, 2006
One Month
Dear Vinny,
Today you are one month old. It has felt like much longer than that in some ways, and much shorter in others.
On Halloween, we dressed you up as a little vampire. Daddy carried you around in his arms, and you fell asleep after one or two houses. You were a big hit with everyone, and thanks to your cuteness, Mommy scored a lot of candy!
This evening, we went over to the next door neighbor's house. She has a daughter and son-in-law who live in town and who have two kids: a two-year-old son, and a six-month-old daughter. Maybe when you get a little older you'll be able to play with them. You were a big hit with them; Joe (the son-in-law) enjoyed your new baby smell.
You still love to be held and we continue to be very happy that you are our son.
Love,
Mommy
Today you are one month old. It has felt like much longer than that in some ways, and much shorter in others.
On Halloween, we dressed you up as a little vampire. Daddy carried you around in his arms, and you fell asleep after one or two houses. You were a big hit with everyone, and thanks to your cuteness, Mommy scored a lot of candy!
This evening, we went over to the next door neighbor's house. She has a daughter and son-in-law who live in town and who have two kids: a two-year-old son, and a six-month-old daughter. Maybe when you get a little older you'll be able to play with them. You were a big hit with them; Joe (the son-in-law) enjoyed your new baby smell.
You still love to be held and we continue to be very happy that you are our son.
Love,
Mommy
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Growth and development
Dear Vinny,
It is interesting to watch you grow and develop. You are developing some habits that resemble your parents. For example, whenever you stretch, you emit an ear-piercing screech, just like Daddy. Now he's trying to use that fact to justify his screeching, but I think that since he's an adult he should be able to suppress that urge. Also, Daddy says that you hate raspberries to the belly, just like your Mommy. I wouldn't know because I would never think to inflict such a cruel punishment upon you.
You love to be held. We almost can't put you down without you vehemently protesting. But I don't think we mind that so much because I for one just can't get enough of you. There is nothing quite like holding and soothing a beautiful little baby. But because you love to be held so much, we have begun sleeping with you in the middle of the bed with us. I know that the "experts" say that co-sleeping is a bad idea, but people have done it for thousands of years. We haven't rolled over and squished you yet, so I think it's probably okay.
One thing I feel sad about is my inability to breastfeed you. I really wanted to be able to do that for you. But, due to a combination of factors, it seems like this is not possible. You have a lot of trouble latching on and sucking properly, and I am having trouble perservering over this. I wanted to give you the best start possible by giving you the best nutrition possible. I pump some breastmilk for you every day, but it is nowhere near enough to supply your needs. Daddy feeds you a bottle, sometimes breastmilk, sometimes formula, so you are getting fed. I just wish that I could feed you the natural way and it makes me sad to think about how that's not possible right now. But I feel good that I am able to provide you with at least some breastmilk, and with love, snuggles, and other forms of psychological nourishment.
Love,
Mommy
It is interesting to watch you grow and develop. You are developing some habits that resemble your parents. For example, whenever you stretch, you emit an ear-piercing screech, just like Daddy. Now he's trying to use that fact to justify his screeching, but I think that since he's an adult he should be able to suppress that urge. Also, Daddy says that you hate raspberries to the belly, just like your Mommy. I wouldn't know because I would never think to inflict such a cruel punishment upon you.
You love to be held. We almost can't put you down without you vehemently protesting. But I don't think we mind that so much because I for one just can't get enough of you. There is nothing quite like holding and soothing a beautiful little baby. But because you love to be held so much, we have begun sleeping with you in the middle of the bed with us. I know that the "experts" say that co-sleeping is a bad idea, but people have done it for thousands of years. We haven't rolled over and squished you yet, so I think it's probably okay.
One thing I feel sad about is my inability to breastfeed you. I really wanted to be able to do that for you. But, due to a combination of factors, it seems like this is not possible. You have a lot of trouble latching on and sucking properly, and I am having trouble perservering over this. I wanted to give you the best start possible by giving you the best nutrition possible. I pump some breastmilk for you every day, but it is nowhere near enough to supply your needs. Daddy feeds you a bottle, sometimes breastmilk, sometimes formula, so you are getting fed. I just wish that I could feed you the natural way and it makes me sad to think about how that's not possible right now. But I feel good that I am able to provide you with at least some breastmilk, and with love, snuggles, and other forms of psychological nourishment.
Love,
Mommy
Friday, October 20, 2006
The Road Least Traveled
Well Vincent you were two weeks old yesterday, and I tell you, what an adventure you and I and your mother have been on. I’ll recap the highlights for you.
For the past two months before your birthday I have not slept. I have been anxious with worry, having questions boggle my mind.
What do we do when the water breaks? How do I help your mother get through labor? Will I survive labor? Will your mom go into a bad transition and use her karate on me and hurtle me out the window? What will Vincent be like? Will we harvest the cord blood properly? Do we have all we need to start raising a kid? Will we sleep?
For several weeks before you were born, your mother would wake up and go to the bathroom near dawn. In the end it was getting painful – she would gasp, whine, whimper, and sigh as she battled her way to the toilet. Hearing these sounds, from within whatever slumber I had managed to work myself into, I would start up in bed, asking, “Is everything all right?”
Everything was always fine. It was the waiting game, and we were playing it.
I had originally bet my money on you being born on September 23rd. This is because, being the steadfast record keepers that we are, we knew the probable date of your conception, and working the math, determined the latter half of September to be the target date. The doctors disagreed, stating that all first babies are late, and nailed the date down at October 4th.
I was further reinforced in my belief you would be born in September when we had your 4d pictures made. We, thinking you were at 34 weeks, went in for the ultrasound. The nurse performing the operation looked at you and determined you were not 34 weeks, but 36 weeks, and labeled your pictures such. At that time, if you were 36 weeks, the suggested target birth date for a full 40-week term would be, you guessed it, the end of September.
But September 23rd came and went. Your mom’s target date, September 25th, also came and went.
Every morning I continued to hear the grunts, moans, and sighs. But nothing.
September became October, and the two of us were getting excited. It was an “any-day-now” situation. I think it is kind of like getting on a roller coaster ride. When you’re standing in line, you worry about the ride. You worry if it will scare you, or if you will get sick. You think about jumping the rails and running away. You think about how nice it would be to sit at one of the boring street cafés and spend an hour watching people walk past. But you stay the course, getting closer to the ride dock, and berating yourself the entire way. Then it comes. You climb in, get strapped in, and off you go. There is no turning back. And, then, you start to climb the big hill.
We were going up that hill for several days. October 4th came. You decided it must’ve been too cold outside, and as the sun set, your mother again told me to give you a stern talking to. It seems your aunt Rachel and uncle Scott were concerned about your cousin Byron tarrying in the womb, and Scott gave him a “stern talking to,” after which Byron popped right out.
So I did it. “Vincent, if you don’t come out of there this instant, you’ll be grounded.”
Well it wasn’t that instant. But when the sun came up on the morning of October 5th, I heard from the bathroom…
“Oops.”
No sighs. No whimpers. No scream of pain. Just an “oops.”
“What is it?” I asked.
“I think my water just broke,” your mother replied.
So I looked at the sheets. There was a big, round wet spot and some dripping on the floor, but nothing that couldn’t be explained away as a momentary lapse of control. There were a few drops of liquid on your mom’s leg that looked like strawberry kool-aid. It was nothing gushing like we were told happened on average.
Neither of us were sure what to do. Yeah we had six birthing classes. Maybe in one they told us what to do, but standing there in the bathroom at seven-thirty in the morning, our minds were as still as an empty room.
So I did the best thing I knew to do. I called John Hartman.
If you were coming, they needed to know. Marvis was support person number 2. She had an idea, but wasn’t really told I think, that she was coming primarily to support me and not your mother. Odd, yes, but I was afraid I would freeze in labor, and I didn’t want Becca to feel alone.
But I digress.
“We think her water just broke.” I told your Grandpa Hartman on the phone. I must’ve been on speakerphone, which is often the case when you call the Hartman house, because I heard Grandma Marvis scream with delight.
As the scientists we all were, I felt compelled to provide evidence that would support my hypothesis.
“There’s this red liquid dripping down her leg.”
“Call the doctor and see what they say to do,” said Marvis, “but you probably should go to the hospital.”
So we called. They said they’d get back with us, and we waited.
“Oh wow,” I heard your mother exclaim. “I think that’s my mucous plug.” So I looked, and called John Hartman again.
“There’s this snotty stuff all over the place now.”
“Yes,” said Grandma Marvis. “You really need to go to the hospital now. “
So we were reassured. The time had come. I went and jumped in the shower. As I got my clothes off, the phone rang. The doctors, having finally decided to give us a return call, told us that there was no time to lose, that to keep you at the lowest risk of infection, we had to leave for the hospital, right then, right now. So I dressed, and off we went.
People ask me about that drive to the hospital. I was nervous, yes, but I was not on edge. I drove calmly and carefully. We chatted about you finally coming, and how anxious we were to see you. We talked briefly about breathing, focusing, and working through the pain. I also did my best to avoid the bumps and potholes in the road, because as you may discover one day, potholes, speed-bumps, and laboring women do not get along.
I pulled up to ER, helped your mom to the registration/admittance counter, and showed them our proof of pre-registration.
“So how far along are your contractions?” they asked.
“Three minutes.” Your mom was timing them before we left. They were three minutes as soon as the water broke.
“So what exactly makes you think the baby is coming soon?” they asked. That wasn’t their exact words, but being the lazy bureaucratic desk-jockeys they were, that is how I took it.
“I dunno, but it might be something to do with the fact that her water broke forty minutes ago,” I said. I remember saying this, but again, I don’t remember what elicited this response. I do remember, however, they looking over the desk at the red dripping on your mother’s leg, then they, wide-eyed, exclaiming, “this baby is coming, we need to get her to the triage.”
So I went to park the car.
It seems while I was gone the gushing water happened. Your mom decided the floor in front of the lazy bureaucrat’s desk needed a good polishing.
By the time I got to the birthing unit they were wheeling your mom into triage. Then the nurse looked down, saw the big swath of water behind the wheelchair, and said, “you don’t need triage, I didn’t realize your water was broke,” so they immediately moved us to a birthing room.
And that’s where it happened. We had some really good nurses. Deb was in charge; she did her best to keep the humor. Amanda was a trainee, and after she nearly drained your mom’s blood from a good jab for an IV she became one of the best helpers that was there. Your mom, too, was in good spirits. Deb told her that if your mom was still cracking jokes at this stage, the labor would come, and be easy.
Once things settled down I did my job. I’m not the best breather in the world, so I couldn’t coach by breathing. When the contractions came, I used gentle pressure on your mom’s hand as I held it to keep her focused on when to breathe in and out. I also reminded her to relax her jaw. It became a joke, but the best way she could do it was stick out her tongue. So for the next nine hours when I said, “relax that jaw,” your mom’s tongue would shoot out.
Around ten or eleven a.m. Grandpa John and Grandma Marvis showed up. Marvis was a good breathing coach, although because she couldn’t see my hands, didn’t realize that her breathing was off key to my rhythm of pressure and was causing some confusion. But your mom is a trooper and she worked her way through it.
As time went on, there was a clear problem happening. “Very bizarre,” as Doctor Peters put it. It seems your mom’s cervix was ripe and more than 80% effaced, but there was no dilation. After six hours of this they finally gave your mom a new IV with pitocin, a drug that somehow seems to speed up the process but as a side effect makes the pain during contractions more intense.
And that’s what happened. Soon, by 2:00 pm, your mother was in such pain that she was doubled over, moaning in agony, and pressing her face hard into the grip-bars on the side of the bed. It was time for the epidural. We had previously placed in our birth plan that she wanted to avoid an epidural if at all possible, but now, after the pain, she wanted it. So she got it. And she relaxed.
Life was different after the epidural. Your mom sat on the bed again, relaxed, cracked jokes, and dozed in and out. Finally Marvis and I went down to the café to get a bite to eat. When we got back, Becca was having trouble again.
“I feel like I really need to push,” she would say. She had dilated after the epidural/pitocin to 4cm, and we thought there was still time. So Amanda the nurse came in and we asked, and she checked.
“I think she’s at six or so,” was the response, and she called in Deb to confirm. Deb confirmed, but by the time she did, she added, “she’s complete now.”
So it was quick. Deb looked at your mother and said, “if you want to have this baby, let’s push it out now.”
I want to take one second to say that those nurses in that room really know what they are doing. They know how to take over when the time comes, keep you focused, and get that baby out of you.
And that’s what they did. Doctor Peters was attending a birth in an adjacent room that had complications, and you weren’t willing to wait on him. Deb, Amanda, Grandma Marvis, and I helped bring you in this world. I cradled your mom up in my arms and helped her scrunch up together and push. Marvis held your mother’s opposite leg and helped push, and Deb and Amanda got you out.
Words can’t exclaim the rush of emotion or the miraculous wonder I saw. I could never do it justice. But I will say that when your head was partially out, and your face turned up, you looked right at me. I don’t know if you saw me, but I know it was your first sight of the outside world, and I can only hope I was part of what you saw.
I told your mom repeatedly that I could see you – She needed the support. She was working hard and didn’t think she was making any progress. And then BAM the head was out. After that it was a quick turn of the shoulder and you came dropping out into the world. Doctor Peters came in just in time to hear you crying.
They cleaned you up, sewed up your mother, and collected the cord blood. Things were calming down. Happy Birthday was sung to you, and then you just sat there and looked at us.
One thing though I think I’ll always hear in my head though, to the end of time, is:
“Okay deep breath now! ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX SEVEN EIGHT NINE AND TEN!”
Welcome to the world Vincent.
Dad
For the past two months before your birthday I have not slept. I have been anxious with worry, having questions boggle my mind.
What do we do when the water breaks? How do I help your mother get through labor? Will I survive labor? Will your mom go into a bad transition and use her karate on me and hurtle me out the window? What will Vincent be like? Will we harvest the cord blood properly? Do we have all we need to start raising a kid? Will we sleep?
For several weeks before you were born, your mother would wake up and go to the bathroom near dawn. In the end it was getting painful – she would gasp, whine, whimper, and sigh as she battled her way to the toilet. Hearing these sounds, from within whatever slumber I had managed to work myself into, I would start up in bed, asking, “Is everything all right?”
Everything was always fine. It was the waiting game, and we were playing it.
I had originally bet my money on you being born on September 23rd. This is because, being the steadfast record keepers that we are, we knew the probable date of your conception, and working the math, determined the latter half of September to be the target date. The doctors disagreed, stating that all first babies are late, and nailed the date down at October 4th.
I was further reinforced in my belief you would be born in September when we had your 4d pictures made. We, thinking you were at 34 weeks, went in for the ultrasound. The nurse performing the operation looked at you and determined you were not 34 weeks, but 36 weeks, and labeled your pictures such. At that time, if you were 36 weeks, the suggested target birth date for a full 40-week term would be, you guessed it, the end of September.
But September 23rd came and went. Your mom’s target date, September 25th, also came and went.
Every morning I continued to hear the grunts, moans, and sighs. But nothing.
September became October, and the two of us were getting excited. It was an “any-day-now” situation. I think it is kind of like getting on a roller coaster ride. When you’re standing in line, you worry about the ride. You worry if it will scare you, or if you will get sick. You think about jumping the rails and running away. You think about how nice it would be to sit at one of the boring street cafés and spend an hour watching people walk past. But you stay the course, getting closer to the ride dock, and berating yourself the entire way. Then it comes. You climb in, get strapped in, and off you go. There is no turning back. And, then, you start to climb the big hill.
We were going up that hill for several days. October 4th came. You decided it must’ve been too cold outside, and as the sun set, your mother again told me to give you a stern talking to. It seems your aunt Rachel and uncle Scott were concerned about your cousin Byron tarrying in the womb, and Scott gave him a “stern talking to,” after which Byron popped right out.
So I did it. “Vincent, if you don’t come out of there this instant, you’ll be grounded.”
Well it wasn’t that instant. But when the sun came up on the morning of October 5th, I heard from the bathroom…
“Oops.”
No sighs. No whimpers. No scream of pain. Just an “oops.”
“What is it?” I asked.
“I think my water just broke,” your mother replied.
So I looked at the sheets. There was a big, round wet spot and some dripping on the floor, but nothing that couldn’t be explained away as a momentary lapse of control. There were a few drops of liquid on your mom’s leg that looked like strawberry kool-aid. It was nothing gushing like we were told happened on average.
Neither of us were sure what to do. Yeah we had six birthing classes. Maybe in one they told us what to do, but standing there in the bathroom at seven-thirty in the morning, our minds were as still as an empty room.
So I did the best thing I knew to do. I called John Hartman.
If you were coming, they needed to know. Marvis was support person number 2. She had an idea, but wasn’t really told I think, that she was coming primarily to support me and not your mother. Odd, yes, but I was afraid I would freeze in labor, and I didn’t want Becca to feel alone.
But I digress.
“We think her water just broke.” I told your Grandpa Hartman on the phone. I must’ve been on speakerphone, which is often the case when you call the Hartman house, because I heard Grandma Marvis scream with delight.
As the scientists we all were, I felt compelled to provide evidence that would support my hypothesis.
“There’s this red liquid dripping down her leg.”
“Call the doctor and see what they say to do,” said Marvis, “but you probably should go to the hospital.”
So we called. They said they’d get back with us, and we waited.
“Oh wow,” I heard your mother exclaim. “I think that’s my mucous plug.” So I looked, and called John Hartman again.
“There’s this snotty stuff all over the place now.”
“Yes,” said Grandma Marvis. “You really need to go to the hospital now. “
So we were reassured. The time had come. I went and jumped in the shower. As I got my clothes off, the phone rang. The doctors, having finally decided to give us a return call, told us that there was no time to lose, that to keep you at the lowest risk of infection, we had to leave for the hospital, right then, right now. So I dressed, and off we went.
People ask me about that drive to the hospital. I was nervous, yes, but I was not on edge. I drove calmly and carefully. We chatted about you finally coming, and how anxious we were to see you. We talked briefly about breathing, focusing, and working through the pain. I also did my best to avoid the bumps and potholes in the road, because as you may discover one day, potholes, speed-bumps, and laboring women do not get along.
I pulled up to ER, helped your mom to the registration/admittance counter, and showed them our proof of pre-registration.
“So how far along are your contractions?” they asked.
“Three minutes.” Your mom was timing them before we left. They were three minutes as soon as the water broke.
“So what exactly makes you think the baby is coming soon?” they asked. That wasn’t their exact words, but being the lazy bureaucratic desk-jockeys they were, that is how I took it.
“I dunno, but it might be something to do with the fact that her water broke forty minutes ago,” I said. I remember saying this, but again, I don’t remember what elicited this response. I do remember, however, they looking over the desk at the red dripping on your mother’s leg, then they, wide-eyed, exclaiming, “this baby is coming, we need to get her to the triage.”
So I went to park the car.
It seems while I was gone the gushing water happened. Your mom decided the floor in front of the lazy bureaucrat’s desk needed a good polishing.
By the time I got to the birthing unit they were wheeling your mom into triage. Then the nurse looked down, saw the big swath of water behind the wheelchair, and said, “you don’t need triage, I didn’t realize your water was broke,” so they immediately moved us to a birthing room.
And that’s where it happened. We had some really good nurses. Deb was in charge; she did her best to keep the humor. Amanda was a trainee, and after she nearly drained your mom’s blood from a good jab for an IV she became one of the best helpers that was there. Your mom, too, was in good spirits. Deb told her that if your mom was still cracking jokes at this stage, the labor would come, and be easy.
Once things settled down I did my job. I’m not the best breather in the world, so I couldn’t coach by breathing. When the contractions came, I used gentle pressure on your mom’s hand as I held it to keep her focused on when to breathe in and out. I also reminded her to relax her jaw. It became a joke, but the best way she could do it was stick out her tongue. So for the next nine hours when I said, “relax that jaw,” your mom’s tongue would shoot out.
Around ten or eleven a.m. Grandpa John and Grandma Marvis showed up. Marvis was a good breathing coach, although because she couldn’t see my hands, didn’t realize that her breathing was off key to my rhythm of pressure and was causing some confusion. But your mom is a trooper and she worked her way through it.
As time went on, there was a clear problem happening. “Very bizarre,” as Doctor Peters put it. It seems your mom’s cervix was ripe and more than 80% effaced, but there was no dilation. After six hours of this they finally gave your mom a new IV with pitocin, a drug that somehow seems to speed up the process but as a side effect makes the pain during contractions more intense.
And that’s what happened. Soon, by 2:00 pm, your mother was in such pain that she was doubled over, moaning in agony, and pressing her face hard into the grip-bars on the side of the bed. It was time for the epidural. We had previously placed in our birth plan that she wanted to avoid an epidural if at all possible, but now, after the pain, she wanted it. So she got it. And she relaxed.
Life was different after the epidural. Your mom sat on the bed again, relaxed, cracked jokes, and dozed in and out. Finally Marvis and I went down to the café to get a bite to eat. When we got back, Becca was having trouble again.
“I feel like I really need to push,” she would say. She had dilated after the epidural/pitocin to 4cm, and we thought there was still time. So Amanda the nurse came in and we asked, and she checked.
“I think she’s at six or so,” was the response, and she called in Deb to confirm. Deb confirmed, but by the time she did, she added, “she’s complete now.”
So it was quick. Deb looked at your mother and said, “if you want to have this baby, let’s push it out now.”
I want to take one second to say that those nurses in that room really know what they are doing. They know how to take over when the time comes, keep you focused, and get that baby out of you.
And that’s what they did. Doctor Peters was attending a birth in an adjacent room that had complications, and you weren’t willing to wait on him. Deb, Amanda, Grandma Marvis, and I helped bring you in this world. I cradled your mom up in my arms and helped her scrunch up together and push. Marvis held your mother’s opposite leg and helped push, and Deb and Amanda got you out.
Words can’t exclaim the rush of emotion or the miraculous wonder I saw. I could never do it justice. But I will say that when your head was partially out, and your face turned up, you looked right at me. I don’t know if you saw me, but I know it was your first sight of the outside world, and I can only hope I was part of what you saw.
I told your mom repeatedly that I could see you – She needed the support. She was working hard and didn’t think she was making any progress. And then BAM the head was out. After that it was a quick turn of the shoulder and you came dropping out into the world. Doctor Peters came in just in time to hear you crying.
They cleaned you up, sewed up your mother, and collected the cord blood. Things were calming down. Happy Birthday was sung to you, and then you just sat there and looked at us.
One thing though I think I’ll always hear in my head though, to the end of time, is:
“Okay deep breath now! ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX SEVEN EIGHT NINE AND TEN!”
Welcome to the world Vincent.
Dad
Sunday, October 15, 2006
A Bit of a Scare
Dear Vinny,
You gave us a bit of a scare on Thursday. We went to see Pat, the lactation nurse at the hospital, for help on nursing you. As it turns out, you just like to chew instead of actually suck, which explains why Mommy's pretty sore. Anyhow, while we were there and Pat was trying to get you to suck correctly, you stopped breathing and turned gray. Pat noticed; for some reason I totally missed it, and she whisked you out of the room and into the nursery for some oxygen. Of course you started breathing again, but we still had to go to the children's hospital. I got to ride in the ambulance with you. It was interesting to ride in an ambulance but I have to say it was not an experience I was all that interested in having. For some reason, you were fascinated by one of the paramedics in particular, and you stared at him until you finally fell asleep.
We stayed at the hospital until they let us go at around noon today. During that time, we stayed in a hospital room with you and you were all hooked up to a bunch of machines. They had to make sure that you didn't have an infection, so they gave you a catheter to get some urine (pure torture for both you and your parents!), took a blood sample, and even took a spinal tap. Thank goodness for Mommy and Daddy that we weren't there when they did the spinal tap, but I am so sorry that you had to endure that pain all by yourself. They put an IV in your head, where the best vein was, and gave you some antibiotics. But you hated that IV and you tried to pull it out, so they had to move it to your left hand. You looked a little bit like you were a member of the Borg or something with that IV in your head.
Aunt Rachel had been staying with us for the week, and she was a big help while you were in the hospital. She regularly brought us stuff from home, and provided a lot of moral support. And yesterday, your Granny and Granddad came to see you. Your Granny couldn't get enough of you. I was really glad that she was there to snuggle with you and give you some lovin'.
After all those tests, they figured out that you didn't have an infection, and they let us take you home. Aunt Rachel, Granny, and Granddad all left at about the same time in the afternoon. In the evening, just before the sunset, we took you out on a little jaunt around the neighborhood. Everyone we saw was smitten by your cute little face. You are the cutest little baby ever!
Love,
Mommy
You gave us a bit of a scare on Thursday. We went to see Pat, the lactation nurse at the hospital, for help on nursing you. As it turns out, you just like to chew instead of actually suck, which explains why Mommy's pretty sore. Anyhow, while we were there and Pat was trying to get you to suck correctly, you stopped breathing and turned gray. Pat noticed; for some reason I totally missed it, and she whisked you out of the room and into the nursery for some oxygen. Of course you started breathing again, but we still had to go to the children's hospital. I got to ride in the ambulance with you. It was interesting to ride in an ambulance but I have to say it was not an experience I was all that interested in having. For some reason, you were fascinated by one of the paramedics in particular, and you stared at him until you finally fell asleep.
We stayed at the hospital until they let us go at around noon today. During that time, we stayed in a hospital room with you and you were all hooked up to a bunch of machines. They had to make sure that you didn't have an infection, so they gave you a catheter to get some urine (pure torture for both you and your parents!), took a blood sample, and even took a spinal tap. Thank goodness for Mommy and Daddy that we weren't there when they did the spinal tap, but I am so sorry that you had to endure that pain all by yourself. They put an IV in your head, where the best vein was, and gave you some antibiotics. But you hated that IV and you tried to pull it out, so they had to move it to your left hand. You looked a little bit like you were a member of the Borg or something with that IV in your head.
Aunt Rachel had been staying with us for the week, and she was a big help while you were in the hospital. She regularly brought us stuff from home, and provided a lot of moral support. And yesterday, your Granny and Granddad came to see you. Your Granny couldn't get enough of you. I was really glad that she was there to snuggle with you and give you some lovin'.
After all those tests, they figured out that you didn't have an infection, and they let us take you home. Aunt Rachel, Granny, and Granddad all left at about the same time in the afternoon. In the evening, just before the sunset, we took you out on a little jaunt around the neighborhood. Everyone we saw was smitten by your cute little face. You are the cutest little baby ever!
Love,
Mommy
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Welcome into the World!
Dear Vinny,
Wednesday night (October 4), Daddy threatened to ground you if you didn't come out. Evidently you were listening, because on Thursday you decided to be born. My water broke at about 7 or 7:30 a.m., and you were born that evening at 6:25. You were respectably big, at 7 lbs 11 oz, and 21-1/4". We were so proud to see you! When they put you up on my stomach, I got to see you for the very first time. What a beautiful little boy you are! You looked at me, and then you looked over at Daddy, then looked back at me, then over at Daddy, and back at me again.
Your Grandpa and Grandma came down to help us with the birth, and they stayed for a few days afterwards. They were really excited to meet you too. Then on Monday, Aunt Rachel came to stay with us for a week, to help us get used to taking care of you. It is so nice to have so many family members who love you and are willing to come down and help.
We got kind of worried for a while, because although you really liked to suck, Mommy's milk didn't come in until Monday. So you were pretty hungry for quite some time, and we even fed you some formula. But now my milk is in, and I think you're gaining that weight back. We will know for sure when we take you to the pediatrician tomorrow.
Love,
Mommy
Wednesday night (October 4), Daddy threatened to ground you if you didn't come out. Evidently you were listening, because on Thursday you decided to be born. My water broke at about 7 or 7:30 a.m., and you were born that evening at 6:25. You were respectably big, at 7 lbs 11 oz, and 21-1/4". We were so proud to see you! When they put you up on my stomach, I got to see you for the very first time. What a beautiful little boy you are! You looked at me, and then you looked over at Daddy, then looked back at me, then over at Daddy, and back at me again.
Your Grandpa and Grandma came down to help us with the birth, and they stayed for a few days afterwards. They were really excited to meet you too. Then on Monday, Aunt Rachel came to stay with us for a week, to help us get used to taking care of you. It is so nice to have so many family members who love you and are willing to come down and help.
We got kind of worried for a while, because although you really liked to suck, Mommy's milk didn't come in until Monday. So you were pretty hungry for quite some time, and we even fed you some formula. But now my milk is in, and I think you're gaining that weight back. We will know for sure when we take you to the pediatrician tomorrow.
Love,
Mommy
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Due Date
Dear Vinny,
Today is your official due date. I had hoped that you would be born by now. It would have been nice for you to be born before October 1, which is often the cutoff date for school enrollment. But I guess they say that you can't rush a good thing. So just take as long as you need to.
Your tardiness has allowed me to keep working for a few extra days, which is good I guess. But you are getting so big that it's making it hard to move around. So I've been working from home when I can. It's nice to have such freedom in my job. This is why you get as much schooling as you possibly can: it allows you to take the type of job that grants a lot of schedule flexibility.
Well, I guess I'll wrap this up. I'm looking forward to meeting you soon!
Love,
Mommy
Today is your official due date. I had hoped that you would be born by now. It would have been nice for you to be born before October 1, which is often the cutoff date for school enrollment. But I guess they say that you can't rush a good thing. So just take as long as you need to.
Your tardiness has allowed me to keep working for a few extra days, which is good I guess. But you are getting so big that it's making it hard to move around. So I've been working from home when I can. It's nice to have such freedom in my job. This is why you get as much schooling as you possibly can: it allows you to take the type of job that grants a lot of schedule flexibility.
Well, I guess I'll wrap this up. I'm looking forward to meeting you soon!
Love,
Mommy
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Dear Vinny
Dear Vinny,
Daddy and I are terribly excited about your impending arrival. Now if you wouldn't mind hurrying up and being born! I love you, son, but you are pinching one of my major arteries and making it uncomfortable for me to move around. Also, when you move around in there, it feels weird.
So come out whenever you're ready, sweetcakes! Out here are a nice bassinet prepared for you to sleep in, a big rocking chair, and two loving parents who look forward to holding you.
Love,
Mommy
Daddy and I are terribly excited about your impending arrival. Now if you wouldn't mind hurrying up and being born! I love you, son, but you are pinching one of my major arteries and making it uncomfortable for me to move around. Also, when you move around in there, it feels weird.
So come out whenever you're ready, sweetcakes! Out here are a nice bassinet prepared for you to sleep in, a big rocking chair, and two loving parents who look forward to holding you.
Love,
Mommy
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